felt..

i feel that im gonna die soon~

hehe... queit scary~

but nway~ i do have this positive kind of attitude that i learn by time....

whatever happens , even theres a mistake that u made nor a thing that u miss , u will always have an opportunity coming soon~

the difference us whether u leave the opportunity purposely or u leave it because of a mistake~

well, if i die , at least one more jerk less by the day~

hehe, less people have less thing to do... like stalking my blog~ :P

i would say im not ready to die yet, bcause i do have a lot of sins.... but i like talking about the other world...

it makes me realize of who we are....

how we should work hard in this world.... be smart.. because we are given an opportunity~~

not like the Palestinians , iraqians , or people that are being oppressed..

it makes our daily problem seems so small~

it makes we wanna work hard~

a teacher of mine once taught me that " before u die, gain as many knowledge as possible so that u can present it to ALLAH "

she once told a story that during the day of the sahabat , a dying man still writes his knowledge in order to teach people~

i think thats why im so desperate of knowledge~

huh... but i grew up in a very social place... not to blame other people but only to blame myself for no able to restrain my act...

i think thats why im not so shy with the girls, because im very close to them during my development~ during my early adolescence .... yup psychology~

adeih~

not so good~

to tell u the truth, i love being restrain... such as at the boarding school.....

because i know, there i can pray subuh jemaah everyday for 2 years~

but now?? i can count how many times i go jemaah for subuh...

need to change... huh....

i like zaidi, he is very consistent in jemaah prayers....

but still if i die, the world would not have an effect... i havent contribute anything...

but thats my mission, to contribute sumthing to sumone.... of course first and foremost is for my family... then to other people, society~

i dont care if people dont recognize me ( like mr anonymous assume that i wanna get reconize)

... making my parents proud is good enough~

yeah , im maybe a hypocrite, of course i will work for the money~ all of us needs money~

but how u spend the money makes the different~

u deserve those money if u work hard for it~ u can spend it all u like~

islam doesnt prevent u to be rich~

but if u have the money u need to serve ur purpose~ thats all.....

if i die early....

i hope people will be better.... i hope that they are the ones who will bring islam to its victory...

especially the people that i know....

i hope all of them would be very succesful~ have great family~

have a true faith~

i wanna change like farabi did..... i wanna consistent like zaidi did.... i wanna islamic knowledge like afiq have.... i wanna be wise like azam did.... i wanna happily treat my friends like faqih did...

steps, it needs time...

we all should change for the better good....

i wanna be myself and have the good qualities that others have...

if i die early, i bid goodbye to all~